


Red & Blue Team Racing

by Syp



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 23:58:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18271715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syp/pseuds/Syp
Summary: The Reds and Blues get together for a friendly race on Iris.





	Red & Blue Team Racing

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Crash Team Racing: Nitro-Fueled to write this. Takes place after Season 17.

It's been weeks since defeating Chrovos through circumstances not everyone quite understood, though one thing was for certain: if it weren't for Donut, the Reds and Blues would have remained trapped in a forever time loop. Now with all the dust settled, Donut came up with the idea of the Reds and Blues racing against one another in a makeshift racetrack on Iris, now joined by Sister and Doc, in an effort to have things go back to normal.

"Are you sure this is how you want to split up? No promises I won't demolish you three into the dirt," Carolina insists as she enters the driver's seat with Lopez on the turret and Donut as passenger.

"Is that so? Let's put those words to the test, then," Wash states as he enters his own warthog as passenger with Tucker as driver and Caboose on turret.

"Can we hurry this shit up? I have a nap scheduled later!" Grif shouts from his vehicle, consisting of himself, Sarge as passenger, and Simmons as turret.

"Oh shut up you, focus on the wheel! Keep your back straight! Stop getting distracted!" Sarge shouts right into Grif's ear.

"We're not even moving!"

"But we're about to, and for that you should be ready!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

Grif then folds his arms and pouts, looking away from the leader of his team. Sarge continues berating him, though by this time everyone else has already tuned him out.

"Uh, and we're here too!" Doc awkwardly points out as he and Sister sit idly by in their motorcycle, with Sister as the driver.

"Yeah, and we're gonna be like, wicked awesome at this!" Sister adds on.

"Then it's settled, three cars and a motorcycle, one track. Now this isn't bumper cars, so I don't expect any injuries but in the event that there IS an injury, Dr. Grey said she'd be willing to accept some more impromptu patients," Wash states.

The racers all start up their engines and take off in their vehicles across Iris. Tucker's team swiftly takes the lead.

"See that Wash? That's where I kicked that cyclops' ass!" Tucker shouts as he makes a sharp turn, leaving Wash to firmly grasp his seat in an effort to not be thrown out of the car.

"Watch your driving, Tucker! We could get seriously hurt!"

"And when's that ever bothered you?"

"Um, Tucker..." Caboose tries getting Tucker's attention.

"Yeah, what's up Caboose?" Tucker looks back to Caboose while holding the steering wheel with one hand.

"Tucker, focus on the road!" Wash screeched.

"Chill o-"

Tucker immediately crashed the Blues vehicle into a large rock.

"See you at the finish line, Wash!" shouts out Carolina as she and her team drives past Tucker, Wash, and Caboose.

"Suck it blue!" Simmons adds as his team also makes way past them.

"The Red guys are coming." Caboose says in a delayed response.

"Thanks, Caboose," Tucker replies as he sits defeated in his vehicle.

"See, if you had just listened to me we wouldn't be in this mess," Wash adds on.

Meanwhile, Carolina, Donut, and Lopez remain in the lead. As they're racing, Carolina begins to squeeze the steering wheel and puts her head closer to the windshield, completely immersing herself in the race.

"Carolina, you okay?" Donut asks, concerned for her back.

"I'm fine, why?" Carolina answers and asks.

"You just seem to be a bit..." Donut pauses. "Bent?"

"I don't even know what that means, Donut," she responds.

"You know you're kinda...hunched over? Doesn't that hurt?"

"It feels GREAT. Especially when I do this!" she says as she slams her foot onto the gas pedal.

"Lopez, how are you doing up there?"

"¿Por qué me preguntas? Tú tampoco hablas español," ("Why are you even asking me? You don't speak spanish either.") Lopez responds.

"You can speak spanish??" Donut asks.

"Nope, just being...COURTEOUS" she says as she makes a sharp but wide turn, leaving Sarge, Grif, and Simmons in a cloud of dust, causing them to spin out of control and hit another rock like Tucker.

"Oh come on, what the fuck!" Grif shouts out in annoyance.

"Grif! Why didn't you see that coming!"

"How could I even predict that Carolina would race dirty??"

"To be fair Grif, it's Carolina, being competitive is like. Her thing," Simmons states.

"Nobody asked you, virgin king," Grif says as he looks away in shame.

"Well with Donut and Lopez by her side, Carolina's victory still counts as a win for the Reds! Betcha Blue Team didn't think of that!" Sarge excitedly shares.

Sarge then exits the warthog and sees Wash, Tucker, and Caboose far behind them. He looks around and places his shotgun on his back, forming a cup around his mouth getting ready to scream at the Blues.

"You hear that Wash?! If Carolina wins, it still counts as a victory for RED ARMY! How do you like us now?!"

"I didn't ask, Sarge!" Wash shouts back.

"They're shaking in their armor, I can feel it," Sarge states as he gets back in the warthog. "Drive, Grif."

As they make their way towards the finish line, Carolina can't shake the feeling that someone's ahead of her but not saying anything. As a way to ease her mind, she activates her helmet's optical zoom and notices two people standing next to a motorcycle.

"It can't be...but...how?" Carolina begins to fumble her words in disbelief.

She squints her eyes as they drive up, discovering Sister and Doc had already made it to the finish line in first place.

"About time you guys showed up!" Sister shouts out to Carolina.

As Carolina parks her warthog, the remaining Reds and Blues arrive with her and all exit their vehicles. Carolina immediately approaches Sister in a threatening way, leaving her a little intimidated but also a little turned on.

"How did you get here before anyone else? Last I checked you were behind Sarge and-" Carolina demanded to know.

"Eh, it was nothing, we just took a shortcut. Also, motorcycles are faster than cars," Sister replied calmly, trying to hide the fact that she was suddenly attracted to Carolina.

"Well. Good driving then," Carolina awkwardly tells her as she walks away.

"The chick is wild," Sister tells Doc.

"Yeah... I'm pretty sure she can break me in two," Doc replies.

Carolina then walks over to Wash.

"So, looks like we both lost, Carolina," Wash says with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, get over it. It won't happen again," Carolina states back.

"Sure thing, boss."

Wash and Carolina then go to the rest of the Reds and Blues and decide on what to eat.


End file.
